Author: Cheryl
•8:41 AM

I'm a pretty cheap gal with myself. Always have been. I buy my clothes on clearance and the sale racks. It takes me forever to haul my butt to the hairdresser for a cut, I buy a bare bones model for my car, and I wear my sneakers until my toes peek out the front of them.

So how did we get into debt when I am so cheap? Well, let me put a disclaimer first. My husband reads my blog, and I do not want him to feel like I am laying any blame on him for what we are in.

I cannot find the exact quote from Suzie Orman that I heard the other day, but it set off the perfect lightbulb moment in my head. She said something to the effect that some women have a tendency to use money and buying things as a way to feel loved and to try to prove to others that they love them and are worthy. I grew up in a weird yet loving family. So, I am more guilty of the latter.

For years I put alot of my worth as a wife into how much I could spoil my husband. Buying him anything and everything. Did I know I was accumulating debt? Yes, I did. But no matter how much my head said "You really shouldn't do this", my heart would say "But he really wants it and I don't want to be the awful wife that says No we can't afford it". Again my brain would know that I wasn't an awful wife for that, and my husband never made me feel awful, but my heart always won the battle. My husband wouldn't think otherwise when we would spend this money, as I handled the bills and just made it sound like everything was under control.

Now every little thing I bought wasn't always for him. I did occasionally use the cards for stuff for the house or things we did together.

Even before I heard that quote from Suzie, and when I started a more frugal lifestyle a few months ago, I knew things had to change and started making those changes. But it wasn't until I heard her the other night that I knew it really came down to that one problem. My inability to say no.

So I have gotten much, much better with it. I had to. For the security of our family I had to bite the bullet and get a little tougher. I still have my days where I feel awful telling my husband that he is close to his limit on his bi-weekly budget and feel tempted to just give him more money. But he has been very supportive through this whole experience and I appreciate it greatly.

The No may be hard to say, but the debt free life is going to be oh so worth it.
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